By the way, hearkening back to
my earlier post--this doesn't spoil anything, since you can see on the
Yuletide list of requested fandoms that no one asked for it--I did not get assigned to write for Richard Adams's The Plague Dogs. I decided, when I accidentally included it in the list, that rather than redo my list I'd just go read the book once and for all, even before the assignments came out, so I got it from the library.
I got through
Ulysses easier than this. This is...guys, I have written some interesting metaphors myself in my time, some of them admittedly more purple than should be seen outside of crackfic, but this takes them all:
...Rowf's rump slid suddenly forward as smoothly as a turd from a healthy anus...I can't even facepalm. It's too squicky.